Creating a Tiny Life

We’re in the home stretch now — 33 weeks this week. Soon enough we’ll meet the new face of our party of three. I’m constantly amazed at how quickly this pregnancy is flying by. I’m also saddened that I didn’t get to enjoy it sooner.

I’m a fairly healthy human being. At least I think so. I’m not into CrossFit, but I do sign up for marathons. I don’t have a gym membership, but I take regular walks around my neighborhood. I don’t eat clean 100% of the time, but I do balance my eating with an 80/20 lifestyle. I strive to make better choices, take necessary mental breaks, and live a well-balanced life. (Could I do better? Probably.)

But all that couldn’t prepare me for the anxiety and stress of the past 10 months. Finding out I had gallstones made me anxious. Finding out I had to commit to a low-fat diet until surgery made me blue. Then finding out I needed to commit to that for a whole year because I was pregnant sent me spiraling down the rabbit hole. As D and I journeyed through pregnancy together, we had other scares that made me weary to get attached to the growing life inside me. Genetic tests, Zika tests, Zika retests, gallbladder pain… It was hard to appreciate being pregnant when I was worried about everything and anything medically under the sun.

Gladly, those panic attacks and worries have dwindled down as we entered our third trimester. I can finally take the last three months to appreciate what I’ve been doing the past several months — creating a tiny life. Each morning I wish our child good morning. Each night I wish our child good night. Each day I tell Lil Bean how excited we are to meet them. When they kick, I nudge D to place his hand on my belly to feel it with me. D spends a few minutes each day talking to Lil Bean so they can recognize his voice later on. I sing and play Disney songs to indoctrinate our baby into loving Disney just as much as we do. And I gleefully watch as my belly moves to and fro as Lil Bean repositions themselves.

I wish I enjoyed these moments months ago rather than spending so much time worrying and stressing. My mind doesn’t work that way, unfortunately (mental health and all). But I’m giving it my best in the final weeks — to throw my worries, hesitations, and anxiety aside.

Because let’s be real… creating a tiny life is breathtaking and remarkable.

‘Til the next time.
– E